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segunda-feira, 14 de janeiro de 2013

Dirigindo a vida





Tive um sonho deliciosamente louco esta noite.

Eu fazia um retorno ao tempo em 20 anos! Só que eu conhecia todos os episódios que aconteceriam ao longo dos anos. Era eu com cara de 20 e maturidade de uma quase quarentona.Combinação perfeita. Era como se eu pudesse ter uma segunda chance em alterar todas as minhas opções do passado.

Reencontrava minha mãe e suas amigas tão mais jovens... Assim como tantas outras pessoas que passaram ou que ainda fazem parte da minha vida.

Eu tinha o poder de refazer as decisões.  Porém, estranhamente, me via completamente paralizada na hora de ligar o motor. No fundo, eu vivia a angústia de não saber se mudaria algo na história da minha vida.

Acordei antes do despertador e fiquei revivendo cada opção que fiz em meus 39 anos de vida. Sei que errei em muitas e acertei em tantas outras.  Eu sempre tive a convicção que se existisse a chance de voltar ao tempo eu escolheria outras rotas. Como seria se eu tivesse ido pela direita? Fui ficando aflita por perceber que nunca terei esta resposta e mais ainda em imaginar que uma simples virada no meu volante refletiria tanto em meu presente.

Honestamente, acho que eu iria acabar vivendo e errando tudo de novo.


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